My Reaction to Professor Scott's Comments on my Essay

First off, it was a huge releif to me that she saw no problem with my lack of citations. Apparently, an essay written based solely on my personal experiences is already convincing and credible enough, which I was very glad to hear.

One thing she said that I think would be very helpful to use in altering my essay was that I don't use a consistent tone. At times it seems as if I am merely wondering about the possibilities of a new sort of education, while at others it comes off as an attack on formal schooling. She recommends, and I agree, that the wondering tone is more appropriate for my purposes. I'm not really trying to convince anyone of anything, just present a new idea that may not have been considered, so I will go back and try to remove some of the "teeth" from my writing.

Another thing she said is that I ought not to let the comparison between SEEDS and school dominate my essay and overpower my description and elaboration of the type of learning SEEDS offers and the possibilities for it. Ironically, this was my original purpose in writing, but in actually writing the essay it seems I became distracting by contrasting the two. So, I'll probably just add a paragraph or two at the end that can serve as, after I finish my comparison, a time when informal learning can take the spotlight.

Thanks again for a lot of great feedback, Professor Scott!