Commenting on a Classmate's Work

I won't mention any names, but the portfolio essays that I reviewed and wrote a letter about helped me to learn a lot about what I can improve in my own writing. Her essays were in a narrative-style rather than a formal essay-like one, which made them much more interesting and engaging. That is something I must consider for my own writing in the future; I often make my writing to formal and it ends up sounding dry. I shouldn't be afraid to add a little personal touch to what I write, because it will only make my peices more appealing to the audience. Sacrificing formality for interest will probably be a good exchange nine times out of ten.

Halfway Through my Reflection Essay...

I honestly think the reflection essay in our portfolio is more difficult than any major assignment we've done this semester. It's very difficult for me to remember exactly what I have changed in assignments that I haven't seen for months, and even still writing multiple pages on how I have altered a peice of writing is proving to be quite a challenge. Then there's the section about how I "understand them as peices of writing", which I'm not even entirely sure what it even means. I hope this turns out ok...I'll probably have to re-do it because I really don't even know what I'm doing...

On the plus side, I do like the fact that we can go back through our blog and cite entries for the essay. I definatly understood my writing better back then than I do now!

Revising the Initiating Action Project

For the draft of my flyers for the Initiating Action Project, I used Microsoft Word to create them. At that stage, it was most important to me to just get a design/idea of what I was going to write down on paper, and not worry so much about the aesthetics. Then, when I got feedback from Professor Scott, it was suggested that I used Publisher rather than Word to create them. This turned out to be a fantastic idea, since in Publisher I could add color and interest without using pictures, but simply by the placement and designs of my text. I really think they turned out well the second time around, and after minor adjustments to my E-mail and article feel confident about my project as a whole.

My Reaction to Professor Scott's Comments on my Essay

First off, it was a huge releif to me that she saw no problem with my lack of citations. Apparently, an essay written based solely on my personal experiences is already convincing and credible enough, which I was very glad to hear.

One thing she said that I think would be very helpful to use in altering my essay was that I don't use a consistent tone. At times it seems as if I am merely wondering about the possibilities of a new sort of education, while at others it comes off as an attack on formal schooling. She recommends, and I agree, that the wondering tone is more appropriate for my purposes. I'm not really trying to convince anyone of anything, just present a new idea that may not have been considered, so I will go back and try to remove some of the "teeth" from my writing.

Another thing she said is that I ought not to let the comparison between SEEDS and school dominate my essay and overpower my description and elaboration of the type of learning SEEDS offers and the possibilities for it. Ironically, this was my original purpose in writing, but in actually writing the essay it seems I became distracting by contrasting the two. So, I'll probably just add a paragraph or two at the end that can serve as, after I finish my comparison, a time when informal learning can take the spotlight.

Thanks again for a lot of great feedback, Professor Scott!

My Idea for Initiating Action

So, when I sat down to think about how I would do this initiating action project, the dilemma I faced was that SEEDS doesn't have any really pressing issues to tackle, at least not to my knowledge. I did remember, however, that Robert Jacks, the president of SEEDS's VT Chapter, said that Virginia Tech was not among the most ecologically friendly of campuses and that his organization was trying to change that. So, I went to their website, and found out some of the things they were trying to promote here. One thing that I think has the potential to go far but as of yet has not done so is the recycling of ink cartrages. I'll be the first to admit, I don't do it, and I don't really know of anyone who does.

So, with this in mind, my project is going to be a campaign to educate the student body here at VT about recycling ink cartriges (why its good, how its done, how/where one can recycle, etc.). I want to do this by employing three forms of "getting the word out". The first is posters, which could be placed in academic buildings, residence halls, etc. I'm thinking each poster should have a fact/statistic about recycling ink cartriges, a location students can go to recycle them, and a web address to an article that can be used to get more information about recycling cartriges.

The aformentioned article is Phase 2 of the plan. This would require the most extensive research, as I would need to know alot about recycling ink cartirges before I wrote it. I would want to discuss the benefits and the process in depth, so that readers would feel like they truly understood what's at stake when you choose whether or not to recycle a cartrige. I beleive that knowing more about the recycling process would make people more motivated to get involved in it than just hearing its something they ought to do.

The final part of my plan would be to write a short E-mail that could be sent to all the students. The E-mail would encourage people to recycle their cartriges and to read the article I wrote about why its important. I wouldn't try to summarize my article, since a link to it would be included in the body already. Rather, I just want something very short and easy to skim since a long E-mail from an unknown source I feel is much more likely to be deleted without being read. Hopefully, some of the people who glance at what the E-mail says on their way to the "Delete" button will think, "Hey, this could be interesting," and want to read the article to learn more.

Response to Suggestions for my Essay

When a classmate read through my essay and wrote a letter about his opinions of it, he pointed out a major issue that I had never noticed before. My essay contrasts the learning that goes on through SEEDS with the learning that occurs in a school classroom. However, in doing this, I come off as biased against school learning, because I mainly focus on the advantages SEEDS has as a way of promoting the organization. It is suggested that I could remove some of the bias by including citations from sources, but most of the information I used is derived not from books but from my own thoughts and personal experiences, both being a student and working with younger students/children. Thus, while I'd certainly like to remove any element of bias from my essay, I am not entirely sure that I can do this through citation. I'll have to come up with something...

Rough Criteria for the Exploratory Essay

When a few people in our class found that their essays didn't fit into one of the 3 catagories (Personal, Persuasive, or Informative), we, being the innovative geniuses that we are, came up with our own essay type: the Exploratory Essay. But this raises the question...

What makes a Good Exploratory Essay?
- define what you are "exploring"
- uses personal experiences/background knowledge
- goes farther than simple description
- exposes authors views/personality
- level of formality appropriate for topic
- some sort of conclusion/closure needed at the end

The "Get It Down on Paper" Essay Method

When I sat down to write my essay first draft on Sunday, I used the directions Professor Scott gave to us: write as much as you can, as fast as you can. Overall, I didn't think writing like this worked very well for me, but there were a few advantages. For one thing, I wrote much longer of an essay than I expected, and I have always had a problem with longer papers. Another was that I found that my purpose was actually shaped and refined as I wrote, so I had a much clearer idea what it was I was writing about by the time my draft was completed. However, the sort of writing that I am used to invloves planning and mapping out ideas before the actual writing begins, and that made this sort of writing feel like a stretch to me. I wasn't comfortable writing paragraphs when I hadn't predetermined the order in which my ideas would develop.

Another Attempt to Discuss the Essay

After reading the other two things about essays, I think I understand a little better what one is. For one thing, it isn't fiction. You can tweak or invent minor details as part of your literary license when writing a personal essay, but you can't just make the whole thing up. It also needs to possess some sort of literary quality that allows it to transcend one particular topic or event and appeal to a wide range of people. We read essays that were written over 200 years ago and still consider them to be great, because we can appreciate the way they deal with a subject even if that subject isn't relvent anymore in today's culture.
My other main conclusion is that you could ask ten writers to write an essay, sit down with the final products, and still have no real clue what specifically an "essay" is. Each one of the ten could be very different from the others. It would be like trying to use a generic description of a dog (furry, wet nose, has 4 legs and a tail) to find a specific breed of dog in a pound. Every one is very different, yet every one of them still fits the general description.
Probably the most important thing I drew from the readings that could be used for my essay is that a good essay is able to deal with the readers on a personal level. You feel, as you're reading the essay, as though you are actually conversing with the author and getting to know them. I'm not always sure my writing has a very personal touch, and so I will make sure to look into this as I revise.

Responses to Comments on my Research Proposal

When Professor Scott read over my research proposal, she immediatly detected one of the major flaws that I hadn't realized before. I never actually ask for anything in the course of my proposal. Since the idea is that we are writing these to obtain funding, this is a key problem. Because my research is very simple and requires no special equipment (and I would not have to quit a job), I don't need any large sum of money to conduct it. Professor Scott suggested that maybe instead I could ask for a small sum of money so that every adult who participates in the study will receive a small compensation for their efforts. The other comments she gave are mostly structural things - working with transitions, and where to include longer explanations and where to keep it simple. This was the main concern I had expressed in my cover letter, whether or not the document met the purpose, flowed well, and made sense as a whole. I feel like this question was answered and I know exactly how to fix my draft to make a good final copy for the portfolio.

Reaction to the Three Essays

Even though the three essays are very different in terms of the topics they discuss, they share several general characteristics that make them examples of both essays and good writing. They are all shorter than book-length, but longer than articles. They include background information and many significant details in addition to the primary message or story they convey, but all of this is kept around or under 20 pages. Another common characteristic of the essays is that they present right up front what the main idea is; there is no waiting for a plot line to develop. One thing that these and many, but not necessarily all, essays share is that they are about a very significant experience in the writer's life. That experience could be several hours in duration, such as a conversation with Fidel Castro and Muhammed Ali or it could be several years, such as living in a Puerto Rican neighborhood in New York City.
What makes these essays in particular very good is that they are extremely descriptive and interesting. The use of vivid adjectives and unusual comparisons keeps the reader very engaged, and truly feeling as thoug he or she is a part of the story. I feel that, in essays or any other kind of writing, one of the primary concerns is getting the reader so that he or she wants to keep reading and actually cares about what you have to say. I feel that Ortiz Cofer especially does a magnificant job of that in her work.

Abstract vs. Background

When I originally wrote my paper I began with a background section in which I describe a day at a SEEDS summer camp. I liked this opening because I felt like it really set the stage for my descriptions of SEEDS as a fun and friendly atmospohere that's great for kids. However, in class when we did workshops, I began to worry that the main ideas of my proposal were not developing quickly enough, and maybe I would have to actually begin my paper with an abstract section. In the end, I decided to have a 2-sentance abstract within my cover letter, so that I could present the main ideas of my paper up front, and still begin the actual body of my work with a background description.

Revising Questions

What is your project?

My project involves gathering as much information as possible about SEEDS so that I can hopefully indentify what makes it "tick". SEEDS incorporates instruction in valubale envrionmental concepts with enjoyable outdoor experiences. If I can indentify where exactly these qualities originate from, then I will be able to better understand why SEEDS is successful.

What works?

My draft uses an informal, highly descriptive style that I've been told by my peers creates a very appropriate tone for the proposal. I like the sections that I've chosen to include, because I feel they allow me to elaborate fully on my topic without epeating myself.

What else might be said?

My paper pretty much assumes that SEEDS provides a quality learning environment for children and doesn't really mention anything about what it means if I find this is not the case in my research. I've also left out a lot of the annecdotal stuff that I got from the newspapers and talked about SEEDS in general terms rather than relaying specific stories.

What's next?

Hopefully, if my research supports that fact that SEEDS is a very good experience for children, the Virginia Department of Consevation and Recreation will go on to implement similar ideas in locations all across the state, and give kids everywhere the same opportunity for learning and development through experience.

Literature Review

SEEDS, which stands for Seek Educate Explore DiScover, is an non-profit organization here in Blacksburg that unites a focus on the environment and the challenges facing it with educational programs for school-aged children to produce a brilliant developmental experience for kids. Through trips, service projects, afterschool activities, and day camps, the children are taught not only the names of plants and animals and where to find them, but also to veiw environmental issues with a global focus and how to develop their own talents in a way that will benefit society as a whole. The dream of Dave Deshler and Dr. Mike Rosenzweig, the two men who founded SEEDS, was to give kids an opportunity to learn about nature through experience and exploration, rather than the conventional methods of books and television programs.

Because SEEDS is a local organization that conducts no programs outside of the New River Valley area, the vast majority of information about SEEDS is found in the Roanoke Times, a small newspaper. Just after SEEDS was founded in 1995, a lot of information began to appear about it in the newspaper. In a May 1996 article titled "Science Sessions Scheduled", one of the programs SEEDS puts on for kids was described. In that same year, SEEDS summer camps appeared in the annual listings of summer activities for kids. The camps had a different theme every week, and it was not uncommon for enthusiastic kids to enroll in mutliple camps, despite the cost. An article in August 1996 entitled "Sowing the SEEDS of Learning" described how successful and enjoyable the camps were for the young children who participated. As the years went on, other articles about the missions and successes of SEEDS continued to appear. In March 2000, "SEEDS offers a Growing Environmental Program a Backyard Approach to Learning" discussed how the increased focus on environmental issues in Virginia schools is supplemented very nicely by the programs put on by Rosenzweig and Deshler.

Other articles are not primarily about the SEEDS organization, but rather about noteable members of the community. "'I Like Nature and I Like Doing Stuff with It' 10-Year-Old is Virginia's Youngest Stream Monitor", published in September of 2000, talks about Cody Ross, a kid who participated in SEEDS summer camps. He actually worked as a stream monitor, despite his age, and was as good as anyone at recognizing the sign of stream health. In contrast to this uplifting article, "Student Channeled Love of Outdoors into Helping Others" is a bone-chilling account of Julia Pryde. The April 2007 article reflects on the life of Pryde following her death as a part of the shootings on April 16th. Pryde was a dedicated and capable environmentalist, and one of the VT SEEDS Chapter's most active members.

The coverage of SEEDS has been mostly interesting anecdotes of the activities and members, designed to entertain members of the Blacksburg community. However, what seems to be missing is the bigger picture. SEEDS offers something very unique to children. It is no coincidence that people as remarkable as Julia and Cody come out of this organization, when it has so much to offer to the youth of today. I feel that for SEEDS to be truly appreciated, more depth must be put into the coverage of its mission and what it contributes to Blacksburg.

My Visit to SEEDS and Interview with Dr. Mike Rosenzweig

Last Friday, I left the Virginia Tech campus and walked a short ways down Main Street, to the SEEDS main location. I wanted to see what the "headquarters" looked like, and I had also scheduled an interview with Dr. Mike Rosenzweig, one of the men who founded SEEDS 13 years ago.

The office was not at all the way I imagined it, but after talking to Dr. Rosenzweig it seemed to suit the organization very well. It was not a large space, just a small suite in an office building. It seemed even smaller from the inside because it was full of furniture, educational tools, and just general "stuff". The office didn't exactly convey a sense of professionalism, but it was very unintimidating. It looked more like someone's basement than the location of a non-profit organization. But, as I learned from Dr. Rosenzweig, that's what SEEDS is all about. The image that the organization would like to maintain is one of a small, tightknit, low-key community.

Dr. Rosenzweig and fellow VT graduate Dave Deshler have a lot in common. One of those things was a love of exploration and experiencing the natural world as children. As adults, they noticed that with the changing times, kids didn't have the same opportunities to just go out and indulge their curiosities as they may have had in prior years. Thinking that this was too good an opportunity to allow an entire generation to pass up, they decided to found SEEDS to give kids the chance to learn about nature first-hand. The idea was to get kids away from TVs and computers and put them into the great outdoors so that they could experience it for themselves.

SEEDS is a very diverse group. Participants range in age from elementary school students to college kids. The group engages in all sorts of activities, from stream cleanups to tutoring to trips across the country. But the common theme is getting youth involved in experiencing and protecting nature.

After interviewing Dr. Rosenzweig, I talked a little bit with Robert Jacks, who is the President of the VT Chapter of SEEDS. The VT Chapter is an on-campus extension of SEEDS that tries to bring the ideals of the organization to the Hokie community. Since Virginia Tech actually does not rank amongst the more eco-friendly universities in the nation, environmental organizations on campus are very important for improving this position. Robert explained how the VT Chapter offers students an opportunity to play a role in bringing changes to make Virginia Tech a "greener" place.

I left feeling very impressed with the vision of Deshler and Dr. Rosenzweig. They could have gone anywhere or done anything with this idea of theirs, but they decided to launch it here in Blacksburg and keep it small. Their goal was to build a strong personal relationship with each and every SEEDS family so that parents would have no worries about sending their kids off with the group, whether on day trips or long-distance travel. I think it is an admirable cause and I can't wait to discover more about it.

Course Goals

My goals for English 1204H are as follows:
1) To become more proficient in the use of semicolons
2) To become better at writing titles tat are brief yet insightful
3) To improve my library-research skills

And there's only one thing left to say:

Go Hokies!
Beat Georgia Tech!

Interview Questions

Here are the questions I plan to ask when I go and interview someone at SEEDs, an environmental education program here in Blacksburg.

Questions for SEEDs Interview
1. Do I have your permission quote you or otherwise use information from this interview in my report?

2. Who are the main groups of people who participate in SEEDs?

3. How many members does it have?

4. Your website mentions that SEEDs is involved in community service. Could you give me some examples of service projects that SEEDs has done?

5. Could you describe for me the afterschool programs that SEEDs puts on?

6. I also read that SEEDs involves some kind of travel. What are some places that have been visited on SEEDs trips?

What is your favorite trip SEEDs has taken?
7. How did you get the idea to form SEEDs?

8. What would you say is the most important contribution that SEEDs makes/has made to the community of Blacksburg?

9. What are your plans for SEEDs for the future – any new ideas you’d like to try, or new goals for the program?

10. What aspect of SEEDs do you personally find more enjoyable?

I know 10 questions isn't alot, but I'd like to ask additional questions on the spot based on the responses of the person I'm talking to.

Wish me luck!

Connie and the Sandman Ladies Activity

Laundry Room Lounge
Miles Hall
15:10 September 7, 2008

While I was doing my laundry, I went to go sit in the lounge across the hall. It is a comfortable, carpeted room that's very well lit and good for doing homework or just relaxing. In the room there are two sofas, deep pink with wooden arms. In the middle of the rectanglar room are two sqaure tables, both of them wooden, each with three chairs. The chairs are wooden as wll, but still comfortable, with red cushions on the seats and backs. Two all wooden chairs rest against the side wall, and another red chair like the ones around the tables sits haphazardly in the centre of the room facing one of the couches. In front of the other couch is a low wodden coffee table. In addition to the furniture, the room is made appealing by the abundance of windows. There are four; two which face Washington Street, one looking towards Barringer Hall, and the last looking out into the hallway. It is a sunny day, and light pours in through the outside-facing ones.

When I enter the room there are three people in there already. I go and sit down at one of the wooden tables, and then take a look around to see who is in there with me. A boy and a girl sit on the couch. The boy has dark hair and wears brown shorts, a white T-shirt, and glasses. The girl wears jeans and a top with thin straps. She's pale and has rosy cheeks, a sharp nose, and long, dirty blonde hair. They aren't really doing anything, but the girl is stroking the boy's head. Just a couple minutes after I arrive, the two of them get up together and leave the room.

At the other table, a boy sits doing his homework on his computer. He has curly blonde hair, is pale, and is wearing a black T-shirt. There is a book sitting open on the table next to him, and he looks back to it periodically as he works. But no one makes any noise, and the room is still and quiet. In through the open windows drift the sounds of leaves rustling in the gentle breeze, faint conversation as people walk by, and birds calling to one another. Occassionally, a car or truck will pass. The only sounds coming from inside the building are the clanking of the washers and driers across the hall in the laundry room and the soft clicking of Computer Boy's fingers on the keys as he types.

I sit for a few minutes in the stillness. Outside Newman Hall there is karaoke, and if I listen very closely I can just make out the songs. Then, suddenly, a new boy enters. He is short with short brown hair and his cheeks are red as though he has just run several miles. He wears black mesh shorts with a white stripe down each side, a grey T-shirt, and flip flops. The boy greets us and goes to sit down on a sofa. Computer Boy and I acknowledge him, then go back to our respective assignments. He is carrying a sandwich and a smoothie from Owens, and after he sits down he unwraps the sandwich and begins to eat it.

The boy finishes his sandwich quickly. He crumples the wrapper that his sandwich used to be in and stands, glancing for a moment at the reciept from his lunch. He then picks up his detergent and smoothie, and exits the room. He doesn't close the door behind him, but rather leaves it ajar. The stillness and silence are relaxing but they make me feel restless, and I click my pen a few times. Computer Boy taps his fingers and feet as he works, and he even birps once, but then the silence returns. The gentle breeze blowing in from the window is all the disrupts the tranuility of the room.

A silver pickup truck drives past the windows along Washington Street, and the rap music from the radio can clearly be heard even over the noise of the engine. Somewhere in the ceiling comes the sound of running water. The noise persists for several minutes, and I think to myself that someone upstairs must be taking a mid-afternoon shower. I then notice that the clicking of computer keys has stopped; Computer Boy is no longer typing. He is either reading something on the screen or he is staring at it, pondering what to write next. But he remains completely silent except for the occasional sigh, shuffle, or sneeze.

Suddenly, Computer Boy stands and, leaving his laptop behind, walks out the door. I find it odd that he would leave the expensive machine behind. For the first time, I am completely alone. A new sound can be heard from outside; a clanging sound followed by either cheers or experssions of disappointment. I have no idea what it could be, but I wonder if it may be some sort of game. After about five minutes of absense, Computer Boy returns and goes back to his work, shutting the door and greeting me on the way. As the door closes I see Sandwich Boy walk into the laundry room. A few minutes later Sandwich Boy returns to the lounge with his smoothie, a sheet of paper and a workbook in his hands. However, he only remains for a moment before slurping the last bit of his smoothie, ooking once around the room, and exiting.

The Nature of Truth and How it Applies to Research

In our group, we faced a sharp disagreement about what truth is fundamentally. The only thing we managed to agree on is that a fact is something that can be proven. Beyond that, no more general statements about truth could be agreed upon. Certain anonymous group members insisted that there is only one "truth" that exists, and people who agree with it are "right" and people who don't are "wrong". However, to me "truth" is something that exists not at a higher level, but within a person. Therefore, someone can be "right" when they beleive what is "true" to them, and that doesn't necessarily mean that anyone who disagrees is "wrong". The basic arguement is whether truth exists on a universal basis or an individual one.

Of course, if truth is something that varies from person to person, it complicates the process of research. It highlights the reason why you cannot get all your information from one source alone, no matter how respectable or convincing the information seems to be. To find your own truth, you must be exposed to the truths of others. If you end up agreeing 100% with one source or another, that's great, but at least you heard the arguements of others before you made that choice. More often than not, though, you're going to find that what you beleive comes from bits and peices of many sources.

Of course there are certain things that must be gnerally recognized as truth. The fact that there are 17 protons in a Chlorine atom or that a year is 365 days isn't a matter of arguement; its a matter of counting. No one can dispute these facts, and thats what makes them facts. But so much of the information we will deal with in this community project will be things that can be argued such as purpose or value. In these circumstances, it is important to remember that everyone will have their own unique version of the truth, and your's does not have to follow anyone else's. So the "truths" you write about will be fully your's, and it will be up to you to support them and make them convincing.

Early Thought on the Community Choice Assignment

I know Professor Scott had said that we ought to consider a community that we are not a part of, but the majority of the communities that interest me the most are ones that I belong to. I'd certainly enjoy doing an off-campus community, but would have no idea how to collect data since I don't have a car or any other convenient way to get around outside of Virginia Tech. I have a very diverse list that ranges from my floor in Miles Hall, to swimmers, to supporters of Barack Obama, to the suburban community I come from in Manassas. Before I make my final selection, I'd like to learn more about what the research we will be doing entails.

In an unrelated note, disappointing loss to ECU today. :( I really thought we were gonna pull it out for a while there.